Can you stop falling in love

We had long cute and awkward hug. Actually I am in another city for my university but we constantly talk to each other. I keep on checking my phone and keep it close to me. We watch netflix together at night and I honestly enjoy that but, I cant fall in love.

The thing is she is everywhere, I have to wake her up every morning. We sleep at the same time. Many Imissyous a day and to be honest i am being a hypocrite sending those message in a first place.

I have really less amount of friends which is also the reason, I talk to her. My inbox used to be empty for days before this. She has so many male friends and that makes me too anxious. Sometimes I feel like I am all I need for me and sometimes I miss human contact.

I have to slow things down and make myself less restless and stay away from my phone. I would be waiting for your reply. Hi Mandeep! Thank you for your comment. I read about your situation and I am grateful you reached out. What would you like advice on? Hi Aleah, thank you so much for this thoughtful article. I am trying to learn how to set boundaries with men while staying feminine. Thank you! Dear, Thank you so much for your comment. Yes of course you can message me; aleah theroyalpath.

I am excited to learn more about your situation. I was in a 7 year relationship that ended one year ago. I started dating three months after the relationship ended and I can rest assured I am well over my ex. However, my dating experience has been filled with bad dates and on the other hand the most amazing dates. Even though I have crazy high standards I find myself often romanticizing about people that somewhat meet them and ignore all red flags they can potentially be giving off.

I want to be with him all the time and he seemed to have wanted the same in the beginning but then as time passed by and things got real he changed his energy and now he said it makes no sense to fall in love during these pandemic times. How can I make myself to stop thinking about him? Dear Violeta, Thank you so much for your comment on this article and for sharing your thoughts and feelings.

I completely feel you and empathise with what you are saying. I have been there myself and once we are in it, its hard to stop ourselves from falling too quickly. Why is that? Because the person we meet touches some buttons in us that really want to be touched. They are fulfilling something in us that we long for, they seem the perfect match for the phantasy that we are having around love and relationships, etc.

Apart from that our hormones really sabotage our critical thinking big time. When I feel into you I can sense that you want to define the relationship pretty quickly.

You base it mostly on feelings aka I feel good with this person and we get along well, etc. We have to juggle our overwhelming amazing feelings with our critical mind that keeps evaluating the person. In my opinion, saying YES to a person should only be done when we have a great sense for who that person is, what they stand for, how they behave, their values, etc… For this we need time to experience them in different situations.

He might have changed his energy because it went too fast for him, he might be scared of commitment, or he is afraid. There could be many reasons. However, the most important thing is to understand why you are fantasising or obsessing over him.

The rejection, the lack of his presence or him changing his energy towards you has triggered something in you that keeps you occupied with him. If you want to become free of that you are invited to explore what it is that gets triggered in you, find ways to process that and therewith get more authority over your mind and body. Of course these are always deeper issues at work. Feel free to write me an email with more questions!

Lots of Love to you! Im having the same situation. I knew myself as very vulnerable and i fall inlove too quickly. Now im with this guy. We meet twice a week. We already hangout with my friends and his. Everyday at work were always on a videocall.

Evrytime were together we always spend a very good time with each other but the thing is that. I cant fall inlove with him. So what do i do …. Dear Casandra, Thank you so much for your comment on this article and for sharing yourself in this way.

This of course is a tricky situation because on one hand you both have very strong feelings for each other and yet at the same time you say you can fall in love and he says he is not ready for love. In my experience when men say that, they mean it. And no matter how you twist and turn it, as for now it is sort of an unrequited love situation even if there are feelings.

Apart from that I advise you to become crystal clear about what it is that you want. Then go for that, unapologetically. Be the queen that is not willing to compromise falsely. You deserve epic, mature, compassionate and pure love. I hope this helps and feel free to email me with more questions. Lots of Love to you!!

Dear Casandra, Thank you for your comment on this post. I feel you and I know that it is a challenging situation. Of course when he says he is not ready; believe him! Man usually mean what they say. Saying no, stepping up for oneself and not accepting anything short of what our heart truly longs for is empowering! Be the queen, keep your standards high and wait for the real King, because it is so worth it! What has changed now is my appearance, I used to be a bit fatter and less confident about my looks.

Do you have any advice? Dear Sofia, Thank you so much for your comment and your question. There is a reason why you fall so quickly and why attention gives you a special kick. If we want to change the pattern, we have to understand the WHY behind it.

You can only understand the why if you investigate it, not from the mind, but from the felt experience. The root of it all lies in our childhood and I invite you to check out my new brand called The Royal Path. In a couple of weeks our new website will be online and you find all information to tackle this issue right there. You can also go through all my episodes of my Addicted To Love Podcast and find out more. Apart from that — and only if your boyfriend is a reasonable person — have an honest conversation.

It gets all much harder if we have to hide what bothers us. Feel free to send me a message if you need more help. Warmest regards, Aleah. Hello…thank you so much for this. Dear Pari! Thank you so much for your message and for your question! First of all; congratulations for having the awareness about how you usually function and that there is a potential for getting hurt if you do what you usually do.

Now that is a great starting point because now you get to bring that level of awareness into the entire journey when you meet someone new.

I understand you do not want to repeat the risk of getting hurt. But you also do not want to assume that you are getting hurt. Because maybe one time when someone is into you, they are actually worth it.

This is very complicated to do. If you want to stop from caring about someone, you need to find something about them that you hate with a passion.

Another way you can stop yourself is to stop contacting this person. I tend not to like this option, but just in case the person you like is literally perfect, try this method.

You can't. You can't stop yourself from falling in love as it is part of nature. Not only falling in love with someone we like, falling in love is general. For me, I falls for the warm of my mother's hugs or the smell of good food from the kitchen.

We as a human tend to fall in love over silly things sometimes. All you can do is control yourself. The word here is "control". For example, in the stage where puberty hits you with the level of hormone keeps going up.. But, sadly it is just the devil hormone jobs. Its totally okay to be in love or to fall in love. Everything has its limit. You have to know whether the butterflies inside your stomach is the sign of nervous in love or just an imagination.

Sometimes human keeps convincing themself that they are in love but, once they are into that stage.. You have to know what makes you in love with someone. Be mature with your choices. Don't fall for someone that has large biceps or flirting out with you through texting.

Love is more than that. Maybe after broke up with your partner, you'll feel scared to fall in love again.. Maybe that is just a testing phase, a phase to teach you how to be strong, independent and overcome sadness incase it happens again. Never stop yourself from falling in love, but cherish the moment you are not in love or in love.

What matters the most, as long you love yourself way higher than anyone else.. After all, we are the one who controls our body. Love yourself first if you find falling in love with someone is too hard for you. But, never stop falling in love. Love is wonderful and perfect. We as human make it look horrible with the flaws we did. Anonymous December 24th, am. To be honest, it's pretty funny for me when people ask that because you can't. But see this when you want to stop something that mean you are afraid of repeat a bad thing, but the thing is no one is actually afraid of falling in love, what we afraid of is being rejected.

Hun, I', afraid you cannot stop yourself from falling in love. You can how ever, give yourself reasons to not pursue the feelings for whomever it may be. Find red flags, toxic attributes, and fatal flaws about the person. Respect yourself in order to gain the will power to leave what will not grow you, strengthen you, or make you happy, or benefit you in the long run. If you resist long enough, you will learn to be happy without that person, and the feelings will eventually go away.

Anonymous August 28th, am. Love, or rather true love, is something that you can't really truly suppress. Maybe for some time you can tell yourself that you must stop falling in love, or that you simply can't love someone, but at some point that feeling will come back.

If you want to stop yourself from falling in love because you're afraid that it will cause problems, then let me say this: there is nothing wrong with falling in love; what you do with it is the one that causes problems.

They should be accepting and supportive of your feelings. Also, they should be contributing to your own visions, and understand that this is your own personal story to live. Block them online. Keeping up with the person online can still influence your feelings, so get some distance there, too. Unfriend them on your social media profiles. You might also get help from smartphone apps like Freedom and SelfControl. Drop the flirtations. You also want to limit their feelings for you, too, if possible.

Seemingly harmless compliments, touches, or glances can send the message that you like someone. So, avoid such interactions. Fixate on their negative qualities. When you are falling in love with someone, your view of them is often skewed. You can only see what makes this person so great.

To control your feelings, develop a more sober and realistic perception of the other person. Review the list whenever you start thinking of them too highly. For instance, if you're dealing with an old flame, you might list out why you broke up with them, including reasons like "He lies compulsively" or "She doesn't prioritize spending time with me. Maybe your reason for wanting to avoid falling in love with this person lies in their relationship status.

This may help you maintain objectivity. Accept that the heart wants what it wants. Being in love with someone and acting on those feelings are two very different feelings. One way to do this is by examining key goals in your life that you would like to accomplish before falling in love again.

For instance, maybe you'd like to finish your degree before entering a new relationship or maybe you want to travel the world. Method 3. Investigate your issues with love. But, doing so can prevent you from having someone really special in your life. Journal or talk it out with a friend.

Or, maybe you are afraid that falling in love with someone will make you give up on your dreams. Reflect on your dating habits. If you consistently get burned when it comes to your love life, it's not surprising that you would want to stop falling in love. However, reflecting on your typical experiences with dating and relationships may help you change your luck with love. Can I identify any common patterns that might influence the outcome? For instance, during your reflection, you might realize that you regularly enter into relationships before you have healed from a breakup.

In these rebound dates, you're just looking for someone so you're not alone, but the people you choose aren't good matches. Change your dating habits. Change something about your habits to change your luck with dates. For instance, maybe you always pick up dates at clubs or bars. Perhaps joining a club or visiting a park might help you find a different date that leads to different results.

Then, when they leave, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Try letting someone in for a change--the relationship just might turn out differently. You will be glad that you took the time and effort to prepare yourself for real love instead of addictive attachment. One thing that can benefit pretty much anyone is working through your problems. All of us have problems in our lives, so if you find yourself constantly thinking about one person, take the time to think about and solve your problems instead.

For instance, if you are hungry, it is more important to cook dinner than think about a crush. Another approach is to allot time to think about the person you like, then move on to other things. Don't spend all day thinking about them. You have other things you need to get done. This can help you become more productive since you aren't just daydreaming all day. Finally, a new exercise routine or another type of hobby may be just what you need.

It will help you stay in shape, and gives your brain time to rest, while you are doing something useful. Studies have shown that online therapy can help those with issues surrounding relationship dependency and love get to the root of the problem.

The report concludes that online therapy is a beneficial method of producing long-term mental health benefits. As mentioned above, online therapy is a useful means of working through emotions related to love and dependency concerns. At BetterHelp, counselors will be able to assist you in confronting your feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, or other problem areas related to your love life.

Outside of sessions, you will be able to message your therapist, who will respond as quickly as possible. Below are some reviews of BetterHelp counselors, from people experiencing similar issues. He listens so well and has such valuable insight on male and female perspectives and issues while also not passing judgment. I have only just begun, but he has already given me so many great takeaways to improve my relationships and situations.

I am filled with gratitude, and I would highly recommend him to anyone!! He helped me see how one issue was affecting multiple aspects of my life. He has greatly improve[d] my relationships with the people I'm closest to and even the way I approach work. I have seen a huge difference in my relationships already, and I have several tools to help me manage the issues I started seeking therapy for.

I cannot express how thankful I am to Dr. I Anstadt!